I miss you;
I miss us;
I miss us being the friends that we used to be;
These three lines convey hurt and anguish.
These three lines convey the loss of a relationship. Never to be mended.
Which of them is true… or are all of them ?
These three lines all say the same thing - I'm selfish.
Because they are all about me - I don't know if you wanted to be with me ... I don't know if you even wanted to be the way we were or if that was too much for you. I don't have any idea if you miss us. I don't know if you even think of me. I do.
Whenever I am free - I have these one way conversations with you. I'd say something and you'd respond and I'll say something else in return... These are manifestations in my mind of how 'we' would talk about something.
They don't represent your thoughts, your ideas, your outlook towards life, your perspective, your feelings, your opinions - they don't represent You. I think they do, but really, they don't.
I recall other conversations and repeat them in my mind... hoping to find some clue, some hint, some direction... about us.
These conversations keep me sane, I think. They take my mind off other troubles. They occupy me if I am watching something, if I am walking, if I am listening to music... Late at night sometimes, I think of us sitting and talking. Talking without debate, without discussion, without arguments... just talking.
Sometimes, I think they give me hope, even though it is false.
But maybe...it is for the best.
Main aur meri tanhaiye...kabhi kabhi